Saturday, December 12, 2009

How to deal a torrid relationship with your employer

Walk away…..u deserve better……that’s probably what your friends would have told you had you been into a troubled relationship with your partner….

You will not be left with too much of a choice…Either tackle the situation or leave your partner

The same rule applies in your relationship with your employer. When your needs are not being met at work for a long time or you feel you’re compromising or maybe putting your dreams on hold- its an indication of a “Toxic Relationship”. It not only effects your work life, it also effects your health, relationships, confidence and your self esteem gets hit too.

In order to change things you should be willing to i) Develop a strong self-respect and ii) know what corrective actions to take

Here are a few corrective actions that will help:

1.Know your Value: Without a strong sense of self-esteem, it’s impossible to achieve change and improvements on career front. So the first thing to do is to get focused on identifying your unique talents, be clear about the commercial value you have created for your employer and clients. Take out those glowing testimonials, appraisals and feedback. This will help you get back your self esteem and in turn give you the courage to break free of the situation that is grinding at you.

2. Get clear about your needs: What is the work you really want to do? What are the personal and professional needs? What are the values you will never ever want to compromise on? What are the skills and strengths you want to develop & utilise on a day-to-day basis?

3. Identifying the missing links: in an employee-employer relationship, you need to know which of your needs are not being met before seeking to make changes. If notclear on the missing links, you can very easily make an impulsive decision that takes you out of the frying pan and into the fire.

4. Be open for a dialogue: Whatever be the problem, the moment you engage in a constructive conversation, you are on your way to making progress. Be open for a dialogue without any anger, judgement or prejudice and you can make the situation better. Always remember “To Understand than to be understood”.

5. Have options: if you are stuck in your personal relationship and suddenly you get a compliment from your partners friend….how to do feel? I am sure it lifts your spirits…that’s exactly what happens when you stuck in a bad situation in your job….a sudden call from a head hunter to discuss a potential position and you start feeling valued. An email from your friend asking if you would be interested in exploring an opportunity in his organization gives you a feeling that you have other options.

Always remember that there’s’ a future beyond your current situation and that the outside world places a value on you. Instead of waiting for opportunities to knock your door, start creating these opportunities for yourself. Start networking with your professional friends and acquaintances. This will give you the confidence and options to deal with the situation instead of getting to a stage where things become untenable.

Throughout our lives and careers, we all get stuck in difficult stages of a relationship – both with our partners and employers. Most of us will usually tolerate a bad situation for a while until it becomes extremely uncomfortable. But some of us will never tackle such situations until something “breaks.”

So friends lets not get ourselves into a situation where we “break” – forcing us to just resign, burn our bridges or leave with no job to go to creating another set of problems; lets get up and put our acts together to steer clear of such a situation by following the above mentioned steps as we “deserve a lot better…”

1 comment:

Anil said...

Great Advise.
Another suggestion - it works better if you "pen" down your angst with lucid reasons and your perspective. It helps clear your thoughts, your rationale, avoids bad blood if the language/tone/ body language can get into negative territory. Avoids misinterpretation and safeguards "misquotes" from your HR / Superiors.

This can be in the form of a personal note (rather than emails, which can be construed as threatening). Allow the written note to become the starting point for a discussion and ensure" you understand more than being Understood"